Because there are too many random things floating around in my head this Monday....
1) It seems Ajax is weaned. Huh. I didn't really plan it, didn't really expect it, just kinda happened. We were down to only nursing at bedtime, and it just got shorter and shorter. I was getting a little tired of nursing all together, but figured I could tolerate that one session until he was done. And it seems he's done. I don't feel bereft or anything, or have crazy hormones, since our weaning process was very, very gradual. But I feel slightly panicked at the thought of selling/giving away my pumps and nursing accessories. Because, what if I need them? I know - not rational in the LEAST. You just spend so long worrying about feeding the baby and pumping and nursing and milk making 24-7, that it's hard to finally get it in your head that you don't have to worry about that any more. (Insert some last baby/no more little babies sadness/anxiety/panic here.)
2) Ajax is not the best sleeper. I am not the best sleep "trainer." I abhor crying. He is also very, very stubborn. And very, very loud. He will let Seth put him to bed, but will not let Seth put him back to sleep in the middle of the night. Believe me, we have TRIED. And after 30 minutes of wailing at Seth, he might sleep for 30 minutes, and then wake back up. He only wanted me. So it became useless to have Seth even try. I couldn't take it, and no one was getting sleep. Thus, I have just given up, and at his first night wake-up, I bring him into our bed. Problem solved. I am too damn tired to sit up with him a couple of times a night and coax him back to sleep. I'm much better rested, he's better rested. Seth sometimes gets kicked too much, and retreats to a sofa for unmolested sleep, but whatever. Seth can sleep anywhere. I find this to be an overall improvement. I know it's not for everyone. But I truly love sleeping with my babies. I love that they are right there next to me when they need comfort. I love their little soft hands on my arm, the way they burrow into my back. I miss getting to sleep with Helene; so does she. Many nights, she likes to have someone stay with her until she falls asleep (which is usually within 5 minutes - we read our books, no big deal). I'd stay there with her all night, if there weren't another little person demanding my attention in the wee hours. He will sleep someday. He won't need me so much. We will get there.
3) Helene's summer has been up and down. She loves her summer day camp, but she's been having behavior issues like never before. She was called into the office 5 or 6 times in the first two weeks of camp, first for general bad attitude, then for kicking and hitting other kids. We were aghast. This has never been an issue. The transition did not go well for her, from school to camp. I think she really, really misses school. Thankfully, camp was GREAT about it. They really handled everything very well. She's had a special smiley face achievement chart for each day. She has four chances each day to get smiley faces. So far, she's gotten them almost every day. Then this morning, we had a very rough Monday re-entry, and she was in a terrible mood this morning, there was conflict and yelling, and shoes not getting put on, and wailing about not wanting to go to camp. Of course, it carried over, and she smacked a kid who was annoying her, but really recognized that she was having a bad day, and was immediately upset with herself, which is a change as well. So, there's an unhappy face on her chart. I don't know yet if this means she won't get her prize from us at the end of the week for good behavior. I just don't know. These things are so HARD. I never know what to DO to make it better, or what to say, or how to get through to her. No told me there was so much flailing in parenting, so much time where you know you're doing it wrong, but can't figure out what right should be.
4) On the upside, my girl is swimming like a dolphin this summer. In her first week of camp, she went from dog paddling/wouldn't put her face in the water to swimming with her face in the water and diving to the bottom of the pool! It's been incredible to watch, and she just can't get enough of the water. I'm unbearably proud of her.
5) Helene's awesome swimming means that I calculate that I am about 4 years away from getting to sit on my fat butt at the pool on a chaise lounge with my novel, doling out dollar bills for Popsicles and fries.
6) I've been on an eBay kick. This happens every few years, where I become obsessed with something, realize it's expensive, realize eBay still exists, and I troll for it there. I try to be savvy, never bid more that I truly want to pay, and try to enjoy it. I'm pleased with a near-perfect condition Coach tote that I got for about $85, and a couple of Lilly Pulitzer dresses that I bought for the $30-$40 range. Yes, Lilly Pulitzer. The preppy runs deep in me, always has. And the sundresses are the perfect thing for my much-looked-forward to dinners out on Martha's Vineyard.
7) I just went to a chiropractor for the first time in about six years. I try to exercise and stretch, and whatnot, but I do sit all damn day in an office, and I am bad sometimes about getting up and moving around more. The stretching just wasn't enough. So, I got some really alarming-sounding cracking done to my back today, and the chiro is having me come back Wednesday AND Friday. She wants me to get a massage before adjustment on Friday, which I initially balked at because, TIME, I HAVE NONE. Then realized I am a dumbass, because MASSAGE, MEDICALLY RECOMMENDED. It probably is about damn time I took better care of myself. But you know how it is, parents. There is no time. Still, I am glad I finally did this, and am looking forward to feeling generally less stiff and old.