I am the lamest thing ever, and have not been writing, so! Let's do a stupid meme to follow up the last stupid meme because it sounds fun and about my speed right now. (Thanks to agirlandaboy and Jive Turkey who are not at all lame or stupid.)
A. Age: 38 for another mere few days, goddamn it.
B. Bed size: Queen, with a desperate desire for a king, which requires home renovation. I love my husband and my daughter, but not always more than my personal space.
C. Chore that you hate: Emptying the dishwasher. I don't know why. It doesn't take long once I get going, but the anticipation of having to do it is so bad. I pile things in the sink and (gasp!) HANDWASH them to avoid doing it. I try to pawn it off on my husband as much as possible.
D. Dogs: Before I had a kid, I really wanted a dog. I grew up with dogs and tons of animals in general. We even talked to dog breeders and rescues. We also had my in-laws' miniature poodle for over a year due to some international vaccine snafus. We doted on that dog. He got walks and treats and massages and shirts and naps in the bed, and so much petting. He even had his own blog. And then we had a baby. And then he was nothing but a nuisance, another chore, poor thing. And I was so grateful that we could give him back, and that we didn't really have a dog. Someday, when the kid is older. Maybe.
E. Essential start to your day: Coffee. IPhone. I put on a cartoon for the young'un, and snuggle up with her and two of my vices on the sofa.
F. Favorite color: Red. Always.
G. Gold or Silver: Silver, though I've branched out to some blingy gold stuff, much to my surprise.
H. Height: actual height is 5'3". My attitude has always made me seem at least 3 inches taller.
I. Instruments you play: Instruments I played and abandoned as a youth: piano, oboe, flute, baritone sax. These days, I can shake a badass egg shaker.
J. Job title: Officially, it's "Trial Attorney." I prefer "entrenched bureaucrat."
K. Kids: One. For now.
L. Live: Washington, DC. (Actually in the District, not in a suburb. Urban snobbery is me.)
M. Mother's name: Wanda Lou. Why yes, she was born in Arkansas. However did you know?
N. Nicknames: Berta, Bert, Bird, Aress, Sweetness & Light
O. Overnight hospital stays: Only one ever was for childbirth.
P. Pet peeves: Litterbugs. "Irregardless." Maryland drivers who cut through my neighborhood. People who do not follow the urban parking code in front of my house, and allow only 3 cars to park there when 4 can fit.
Q. Quote from a movie: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
R. Right- or left-handed: Right-wing in hands only.
S. Siblings: Half-sister, 13 years older than me.
T. Time you wake up: Whenever the small child does. It's fun! Like roulette! Will this be a 5:45 day, or a jackpot 7:30 day?
U. Underwear: I wear it.
V. Vegetable(s) you hate: I don't truly hate any of them. I tried very hard to like kohlrabi after our CSA was inundated with it, and will not be sorry if I never see another kohlrabi again, but I'd eat it.
W. What makes you run late: Failing to get my ass out of bed on weekdays when a snuggly girl has curled up next to me and fallen back asleep.
X. X-Rays you've had: My ankle in college when I slipped on black ice; teeth at the dentist. That's it.
Y. Yummy food that you make: My no-fail dishes are roast chicken, New Mexico green chile enchiladas, and marinated, grilled flank steak. The most asked-for dish is probably my guacamole.
Z. Zoo animal: I could watch fish all day. Or about anything that's swimming and moving in the water.
You should do this too and then post a link in the comments and then we can be Internet Friends and people who have never heard of blogs will be worried for our safety. Whee!
