I've sure been whining and complaining and being generally depressing on this blog so far. Which, I'd like to think, is really not at all like me. So. Let's be happy! Happy happy! Pour yourself some wine, put on a party hat, and let's say "woooo!" for the Olive being FOURTEEN MONTHS today. And LEARNING TO WALK three days ago. Oh my effing god I really have a TODDLER now. She TODDLES. When did that happen and why was I not given more advance notice? No, I did not get the memo! I had probably gone to bed at 8:30 in an effort to get some sleep (more on that later). As my best friend Maya oh so accurately says, babies toddlers learning to walk are like little drunks. They stagger. They fall down. They cry. They pee their pants. And stagger and fall down some more. And we get to laugh at them without seeming too cruel.
I would like to personally thank the Federal government for the three-day weekend. And I wish there were more. That one extra day just spreads out the weekend chores and makes it possible to have more fun! Be social, without being stressed out about when the grocery shopping/laundry/random errands are going to get done. Can we all pleez haz now four day workweeks forever n ever? Pleez? It really felt like a return to normalcy, or the new normalcy, or alert level yellow (Low Grade Stress) or whatever Homeland Security calls it these days.
Here are the things that we did. On Saturday, we got our butts outside to enjoy the 50+ degree weather, such a respite after the depressingly frigid temps of the last few weeks (I am such a cold wuss these days too). We combined a few errands at Eastern Market with some quality time at a local park, where the Olive could toddle/drunk-walk on one of those squishy rubber playground surfaces and try to climb up the slide and have us slide her down the slide over and over and we drained the camera battery trying to document more than a few steps before a cheerful face-plant splat. Home for lunch, aborted nap attempts (Too busy! Must walk! LET ME UP, LADY!), then a meeting with a prospective nanny-share family where Seth had to keep throwing himself bodily in front of their 10-month old daughter to keep the Olive from running her down like rabbit roadkill with the Wheely Bug of Death. It's quite new to have the Olive be actually dangerous to other humans now.
Then we actually left our house, our neighborhood, and the District of Columbia, and went across the line to Maryland to have dinner at some friends' house. They ordered really good Chinese takeout, of the kind only found in the 'burbs around DC. We took turns chasing our girl around, while she tried to play with the fireplace tools, go up the stairs eighty-seven-million times, pull all the wine out of the wine rack, and sleep in the dog's bed. The one who got to sit also got to enjoy the fruits of my friend Leon's homebrew labor. Mmm, Belgian-style blond ale. High alcohol content. Mmm.
Our friends' kids are four and seven, and we just marveled at what they did. They could go up and down stairs on their own! They left all of the electronics, dangling cords, outlets and breakables alone! They actually sat in the basement alone and contentedly watched a movie for an entire hour and a half! It was a revelation, to realize it won't always be baby gates and chasing and fishing dog food out of her mouth. I mean, the Olive is so fun right now, but she is also demanding and exhausting, and I really would like to make a phone call or check my e-mail without a little screeching monkey climbing up my leg because she wants me to give her the expensive electronics RIGHTNOWRIGHTNOW to play with OR I WILL EXPLODE AND HAVE A SCREAMING FIT! I really can't use the laptop or my BlackBerry in her sight, unless she's very, very absorbed in something, because it just ends up with all the screeching. The eighty-seven-million toys that she got for her birthday and Hannukah and Christmas and Just Because are just not nearly as attractive as those bright screens and tappity-tap keys.
The Olive stayed awake on the drive home, which may have had something to do with the fact that the Fisher Price Piggy Bank that we'd brought along seemed to have been placed on his nose, so every time we turned or went over anything bumpy (which on DC roads is everything) the pig started to sing or oink. I know the "I'm A Piggy Bank" song by heart now, and Seth wishes he'd never heard it. We put her to bed at 9:15, and she slept with only a minor peep at 2:30, and then until 5:30 am, then went back to sleep until 7:30. This is practically miraculous.
Sunday was Playoff/Playgroup day. We had our neighborhood friends and their babies toddlers over for chili, beer, football watching, and lots of playtime. We cooked tons of food! We had a party! We were social! People drank! In the afternoon! With children in the room! It was practically like the olden days, except for the sippy cups and Fisher Price Little People. Again, I could see the light...it won't be that long until we can leave all the munchkins in the basement to play or watch movies by themselves and we can all sit around upstairs being adults with our adult beverages. And maybe we'll watch a Rated R movie or swear or wife-swap or do some coke or something while we're at it. JUST BECAUSE WE CAN.
The Olive had pretty much constant entertainment from 1:30 until 6:00. When everyone left, we went into our usual dinner, bath, bed routine. She was asleep by eight, and except for a weird sleep-standing incident at 10:00 pm, which was resolved in seconds by my laying her down (still asleep), she stayed asleep until 5:40 in the morning. Yes. That is right. NINE HOURS AND FORTY MINUTES. And went back to sleep for about another hour after that.
Those of you who have had the patience/fortitude/stupidity to follow along here, know that sleep has not been our strongest attribute thus far. We've made a few changes, and it seems like we are seeing results. After I almost crumbled into an exhausted sobbing heap the other weekend, and after snapping maliciously at Seth about something stupid for the umpteenth time, I realized I needed help. I've been night-nursing mother martyr for too long. We had already finally moved the Olive to her own room (she slept in her own bed in our room for, oh, a good long time.) I got Seth in on the act, and we've been switching off nights responding to any wakings. I slept in the basement for a few of those nights, and got real sleep. (Or as real as you can get when you STILL wake up every three hours because you're just used to being woken up every three hours.) The nights that I've been "on call," the Olive has been sleeping better. The rule is that we nurse before bed, and then she doesn't get to nurse until after 5:00 am - an adaptation of Dr. Jay Gordon's nightweaning plan. We're also using the No Cry Sleep Solution steps to get her to sleep and back to sleep. We've been successful this week at getting her back to sleep most times without picking her up. It's actually been a lot easier than I thought. She was never a crazy all-night nurser, has never been super-attached to nursing or comfort-nursing, and did sleep most of the night at a fairly early age. It just all went out the window at around six months when the big developmental stuff started - rolling over, sitting up, teething, crawling, standing....the Olive was just too busy and curious to sleep when all of that was going on. I mean, just imagine if you could suddenly physically do something totally new that completely changed your world view, like if now, as adults, we learned to fly. Wouldn't you want to do it all the time until you'd mastered it? Flapping your broad new wings? I sure would, and I wouldn't sleep either.
The end result is that I have now had an entire week of sleep. Actual sleep. And oh my god, do I feel better. I am so much happier. I have energy. I am living dangerously and going to bed at the late hour of NINE THIRTY. I am not screeching like a fishwife at my poor husband anymore (who has the lucky ability to sleep through darn near anything). We had kind of a party on Sunday, and I didn't feel stressed. I could actually relax and enjoy the three day weekend, and find the time and energy to again enjoy the warm weather yesterday, taking the Olive to another playground to toddle and stumble and climb and watch the other kids and try to steal toys. And even get all the laundry folded and watch a couple of old episodes of "True Blood" that I'd never seen. Huh. Adult time.
Keep it coming. Fingers crossed for more of the same, y'all. Fingers crossed.
wife swapping, coke sniffing- this made me laugh OUT LOUD! Welcome to toddler-hood. You thought it was a marathon before? Hold on to your hats because you're now in the second half of the marathon, where you can almost see the end but your whole body is aching for a break. Hang in there, put some corner pads on the furniture (ugly, but necessary) and enjoy the ride. run. whatever.
Posted by: whylime | Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 06:32 AM